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Authentic Jewish Leadership For Israel |
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Our Views Little Red Iron Dome and Kassam the Wolf by: Moshe Feiglin Israel’s government recently approved funding for the Iron Dome missile system, designed to intercept short and medium-range rockets targeted at Israel’s cities. The system is expected to be ready in another five years. “Why are your wings so black?” Little Red Iron Dome asked Kassam the Wolf. “That’s racism!” Kassam whined, and refused to shake her hand. He wasn’t even willing to fly in the same airspace. Little Red Iron Dome hurriedly apologized and asked Kassam to forget past grievances. Just a millisecond before that, Little Red Iron Dom had flown out of the ruins of Sderot to prance through the clouds and gather a bit of security for Grandma. Suddenly, in the midst of a cloudburst, she met the Big Bad Wolf, Kassam. The two engaged in a timely, intellectual conversation: Iron Dome: What is written there in Arabic on your side? Kassam: Oh…uhh.. It’s just an old joke. It’s not even funny anymore. Iron Dome: Tell me anyway. Kassam: Well, if you insist. When I was produced, ten years ago, we thought that Iron Dome would destroy me in two and a half years from now. Iron Dome: And why is that funny? Kassam: It says that I can be used until 2010! Iron Dome: So what if I’m a few years late? Just try to get past me now! Kassam: You wouldn’t dare explode! Iron Dome: Are you crazy? I should explode because of a rusty old pipe with a bit of Egyptian explosives? Do you know what I am made of? Kassam: What? Iron Dome (raises her nose and flutters): My steering wings are made of titanium, I have satellite tracking software, an integral GPS… Kassam: And what? It doesn’t explode? Iron Dome: Sure it explodes! But do you know how much I cost? With the money spent on each Little Red Iron Dome like me, Israel can build three schools! Kassam: So? Iron Dome: Are you the last Kassam? Kassam: Are you joking? Of course not! My brothers are on their way. The last shipment from Egypt was a bit delayed, but since the Disengagement, the Philadelphi Route is open and we can also lift off from Neveh Dekalim. The Jews are good people… Iron Dome: I have an idea. Kassam: That’s great. I’ve never had an idea. Iron Dome: All of you can go home and I will explode in Sderot instead of you. Kassam (loses balance): What? Do you think I’m stupid? Why should I believe you? Iron Dome: It will be just like the Disengagement! We will call it Unilateral Explosion. You can stay in your mosques and we will destroy ourselves! Kassam: And if we don’t agree? Iron Dome (with sensitivity and determination): We will explode, nevertheless! Kassam: And what about Ashkelon? Iron Dome: Well, all right. But if you launch yourselves, we will really let you have it! And so, Kassam the Big Bad and Disappointed Wolf went home to Gaza. Just before his gentle landing, he was caught by an Israeli Air Force hunter who quickly released him because the criteria for defining terrorists had been made more flexible. In a virtuosic flight, Little Red Iron Dome flew right through the window of opportunity, exploded with a huge bang, and triumphantly destroyed Sderot, Ashkelon and Tel Aviv. Bibi voted in favor and then hurried to resign in protest. The State Supremacist soldiers displayed national responsibility, overcame the voices of the extremists calling for conscientious objection and launched more Iron Domes on Jerusalem and Haifa. In a rare display of sympathy, Olmert announced that those who have relatives in Haifa (next of kin only) will shoot the Iron Domes at Jerusalem only and vice versa. Afterwards, he was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize and joined his sons in New York. Azmi Bashara was nice enough to take his place, the danger to democracy passed, Peres’ dream was realized and Israel was accepted to the Arab League. And at the Western Wall Plaza, special prayers were held for Israel’s government, ministers and advisors.
Now it's time to hear you!
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